Wednesday, January 22, 2014

CARPE DIEM....... Birthday 2014

I just got through ready the past few birthday posts that I made on my blogs..... and now I am getting ready to write another one, here, and another one with a different topic over on THE FRUGAL FREELANCER  (all the freebies you can get / qualify for for your Birthday.)   I am playing catch up.... its snowing here .... its been snowing since last night and I am in my basement on the computer with my cat, my coffee, my book and the food channel.    This is not a bad thing.   I can watch a movie, reflect on things and pretend that all of the work that needs to be done and is laying in 4 big piles isn't there.  Because it is my birthday..... I can justify it. 

I was reading one particular Birthday Post from 2012..... it was my father's birthday I was speaking about... and here is an except from it.................. his birthday was Feb. 22   (222) exactly the month to the day after mine ....... (1/22)

My own Father's birthday is next week, I don't know how old my Dad is turning , I know he is 70 something.  I really didn't know when he turned 50 and did not celebrate it with him, or 60 or 70.........or........   I don't remember ever celebrating a birthday with or for him and wonder if anyone EVER HAS?   
   I have called him on his birthday, I have sent him gifts and cards.  He has never said thank you, but he always has said "its just another day."   I often wonder what made him think this way ....... he makes it hard for me to celebrate ...........he rejects it.    I don't ever remember celebrating my own birthday with my Dad either...... but he has sent me a check "here and there" and never a card.  Why do we have such different ideas and expectations about this day we call a "birthday?"

The funny part about this except is....... my father died that year..... he was 74 ,  I found out exactly how old he was ironically when he DIED.   There was always a bit of controversy about talking about the year he was born as I  learned to do math and knew that my grandmother was 40 the year I was born.  

I never did celebrate one of his birthdays ... with him...... but maybe a birth of a different sort..... his rebirth to "the other side."  

Today is my own birthday and it snowed.  It never snows on my birthday, but all kinds of things other than snow have and haven't happened ironically around my birthday.    

I don't feel like taking my camera out and taking photos of the beautiful white flakes on the ground although that normally would be my passion, there is no one here to celebrate with anymore, its the middle of the week, I don't drive in this stuff... and .  Its too bitterly cold for me,  I so prefer warmth and plan on going out tonight and sit in the warm hot tub as long as icicles don't start forming on my eyelashes.  I don't think it came for me to enjoy in that way.  I think its purpose was to keep me "still" and to think and reflect. 

I have had the day to reflect on ..... what does it feel like to be 52?   

I don't feel 52 .... AT ALL.. not inside nor out.... . I have a lot more to do, a lot more to give, a lot more to accomplish and certainly a lot more to say.... so ..... I hope I continue to have this young feeling soul .... so that I can accomplish the things on my bucket list.  .... Oh wait? I don't have a bucket list!!!   I think I better get to it.  Life is Short, LISTEN TO ME YOUNG PEOPLE ,  I know you think time is SLOW but its NOT!   Carpe Diem friends......and Carpe Noctem too!   

1 comment:

Brandee Shafer said...

I'm sorry you never celebrated birthdays with your dad. When I was outside in the snow, today (on your birthday) I thought how I really feel 40: especially in my legs. I feel like life's flying by, for sure. I love you and hope your birthday's happy or turns that way. xo