Thursday, May 16, 2013

Travis Alexander............... I didn't know you but...............

"The difference between a Stumbling Block and Stepping Stone is the Character of the individual walking the path" ~   travis alexander
****murdered in 2008 by jodi arias , the trial now in penalty phase*****

Travis i don't know you but my feeling is that you were more of a prophet than motivational speaker in my mind. 

There has been a 5 year ongoing investigation and now the culmination of the trial ends with the penalty phase.   the jury's duty is to decide if Jodi Arias is to live or die.   She says she wants to die.   

2008 in Travis's words was to be the best year of his life.   It was to be full of "success, love, forgiveness and finding his eternal mate"   He spoke in his haunting blog about God and living like his savior.  He calls his blog "on being better"  but 2008 was not the beginning of his ventures it was the end, he found his eternal mate, in death, not in his 6 figure income or his 32 inch waist that he spoke about.  

He was human and his actions, according to court testimony, like many others did not match his professions of following the path of his savior.  Of following his God's plan, or being a "storming mormen."   There were actual tapes played in his own words where he bragged of his sexual skills with his on and off again mistress who ultimately was also his murderer. 

I watched the end of this trial ,  beginning with her testimony.  I understood her pain, her photos, her words about being verbally abused and duped and i did believe her on those counts.  I also believed her when she admitted to killing the man she loved.  I also believed her when she said she wanted to die.    What i do not believe is her tears............. her tears are not tears of remorse in my mind , but tears that her life too is over, and she is and has admitted she thinks of all that she will miss in life.

I am repulsed by it all.   The smoke and mirrors that humans people put out there to emit and emote .... authenticity..........seems to be going by the wayside in our society and it isn't just evident here in this gruesome and horrifying murder, but all throughout our society.   

If we could ......... just ............ "be better" being more open, more authentic , more real and quit trying to mimic others and reach deep within our hearts instead of pockets and be yourself , your true self and live ...........with stepping stones and stumbling blocks and learn to stumble and recover and step without stepping on others........ yes the character is all in the walker, the person that is on the path , the journey to make today better than yesterday .......... and for that to be measured in your acts of kindness....... your tender touch, your humility and what you do to make the world a better place........ and starting with yourself.  

I am so sorry for the loss of travis....... the loss of jodi............ but I rejoice in the loss of the smoke and mirrors that clouded their worlds.   It is shameful that it sometimes takes such great loss to gain such insight.  

I am the keeper of many secrets, many unspoken words and covered up actions of others.  I know way more than I need to know in many situations, and part of my personal "issues" result in being the keeper of the secrets of the transgressions of others, and have discovered that ..... being an "empath" this has resulted in some detriment to my own psychy.    People wallk around with the "its not my problem" attitude and cover ugly truths that they see and know....... like a cat using a litter box.......... but it is their problem, its my problem and its your problem.  

Travis put out into the world what he wanted you to think he was.  He wanted to use others as stepping stones not stumbling blocks......... but......... he stumbled he stumbled hard, he was broken not in spirit but he was not the picture of "health" and who cared what size his waist was as he was crouched in that shower?..... he was writing a book called "raising you"  ......... I wonder who the "you" was?  it wasn't Jodi.   

I don't feel sorry for Jodi,  I don't know or didn't know Travis but I listened to the details , looked at the photos and listened to the smoke and mirrors as they were waded through and the air cleared and the bottom line is ..  should Jodi die for butchering Travis?   I don't think so, I think she is sick, trampled on, committed a horrible crime of passion.......... and should absorb the pain and suffering of those around her for all of the days of the rest of her life..........  Travis said that she was the "worst thing that ever happened to him" on that computer and in fact......... she was.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I believe that for Travis's family to have any kind of peace she needs to be put to death. What she did to this man was cruel. I am sure she has suffered in her life but that was no reason to slaughter this man. I truly believe she killed him because he would not take her to Cancun.