Saturday, December 15, 2012

CHRISTMAS ........looking for light....... everywhere


Its almost Christmas and this year is different than any other year in my memory as an adult on my own in Virginia.......from the last 25+ years.  I still have the real tree........ and its beautiful and it smells so warm in my house.......and it is normally the focal point of my Christmas Traditions. 



 There is nothing like taking out your ornaments your tokens of memories and add them to the tree to start your Christmas Season...............until now......This year, the focal point has been "light" and "lights" from the very famous festival of lights in Natchitoches to the light of the candle or the soft blue light of the television in the middle of the night.........




The news around the world, you see, isn't good right now........no its worse than "not good" and there is no covering it up with a "bless his heart" either............ its BAD its EVIL and it couldn't be stopped.  Sandy Brook Elementary School in CT, and in China a story about an evil attack that on its own merit would have been headline news but ............. it only came in 2nd........ to the slaughter in Connecticut.  I don't know which one made the "fame" they were looking for .......either or both.  


 I need light this winter .............the world does too......... I found myself seeing the light just around each cornerIllumination can be a beautiful thing....I even go to the tanning booth to get light.. to shut out the darkness........... that looms around every corner.  The lack of mental health care in our country ........ isn't the entire problem but I feel is more than partially to blame.  I know of several "time bombs" that need help in a non stigmatized, cost effective way.  I know of several families that have sought help only to be turned away ......with a "until they are a threat to themselves or others there is nothing we can do."  Maybe its because I have a crazy family and crazy friends and a crazy profession and / or my work in social work........ I don't know if I see it more than others or the same or less........but I see it ........ everywhere. 


 In the sorry of the tragedies and loss of our children............in America ..........I am reminded of the Amish and the little angels lost in a similar fashion......... in school........... the response of the Amish people STUNNING me , stopping me in my tracks..........How could they be so forgiving so soon after the act.......how could they say that they trusted in "God" that there was some purpose in this awful plight........... and then again I have recently learned the story of JOB ............ (thank you brandee shafer)
and try to pull some faith out ...... from my gut............ and say yes my own loss in my life put me in the club........... the club you don't wish on your worst enemy......to lose your child, your young child that hasn't hurt a soul.  and then. multiply it by 100000 in the violent death.  I wish I had a miniscule of the faith shown by the amish........as a matter of fact .......I pray for it.......and look for the light


 I have friends that have recently lost their children and have joined me in the club in the last few months. I have other friends that share the history of the loss, mine being 23 years old...... a long time........ and I am still looking for the light.......My reindeer this year , shines brighter than it has for years..... its been renewed and lights up beautifully! :)   I also know some terrific children that lost their parents way too soon...... its been a year of transition and loss for me and many others......


IT doesn't help to get mad, it doesn't help to "feel sorry" for those that have lost , what helps is understanding, understanding that we may not say the right thing at the right time, but we can't start a political debate over this............let the victims families fight their fight and aid them........ don't fight among yourselves.. but yet .........think about the light ......... that something good may result from the bad....... and lets not argue about what that should be...... or where was God? or where was gun control?  or where was security in our schools?    Instead put your energies into something positive that will help...... not exploit the most painful time of the life of so many ....... LOVE is what HEALS...........  at least that has been my experience :(




1 comment:

Brandee Shafer said...

What a wonderful post. There are so many things we don't understand and never will this side of heaven because "now we see through a glass, darkly" (I Corinthians 13:12a). I'm sorry for all you've suffered in this lifetime, Anjie. At the same time, I see clearly and easily: it's helped to make you the extraordinary person you are. It's turned you into the rare sort of empathetic, non-judgmental person whom others want near when they're hurting. Keep seeking the light! "God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all" (I John 1:5b)...no matter how it may seem. And God won't hide from you; you'll always find Him when you seek Him. There are some beautiful scriptures about that: Deuteronomy 4:29, Jeremiah 29:13, Matthew 7:7-8, and Luke 11:9-10. Love you!