Sunday, December 18, 2011

Under the Bed......... Right Beside the Slipper...........

Christmas at "la-la's" has always been a magical experience for some way or another, even in the saddest moments of loss, hurt and all the worst things that life can throw at you, somehow......someway there is always "spirit."  Anyone that has visited me during the holidays (I am sure) will attest to something fun happening.  

This house has always been a giving some kind of way.  
Adopting Families, Entire Pediactric Wards, Operation Santa (nationwide), Elves, Troops, Schools, Each Other ........... has been a tradition.  A once very dear friend of mine.......made a pillow once and had embroidered on it "Who Needs Santa? When you have Anjie!"  Wow what a tribute....... its almost like being a musician and being mentioned in the same sentence as some great guitarist I am sure.   If I didn't have spirit...... I would find some, in the giving and a lot in the receiving department as well.   I have welcomed babies and said my goodbyes to many during these past years of my life...........and I have blessed each year..... in some way.

This year has been a bit different.  

I went on a trip away from home for 10 days ........ and went back home.    I shared some very special moments that will be near and dear to me as one of the best times of my life.  I cannot wait to share the pictures with you of some of those times in another blog post.   

While I was gone with my long time friend, Karen, I was able to introduce her to a part (time and place) of my life that she had missed seeing and living with me....... my home in New Orleans.  The place I really grew up and have some of the best relationships a girl could want for.    Then I left.................

I came home to a place ....... a place that had been decorated beautifully in white lights, a flag was hung and yep a few of my favorite things had been brought down from the attic.  It was pretty....... and the Christmas Tree got brought home in the next few days and lighted while I as out.  I came home just in time to see the lights flicker for the first time and I breathed in the smell of Christmas in my house....... and it smelled good...... but there was no spirit............ to be found.

As a matter of fact,, I found no desire to fill up my living room with 5000 gifts to be given......... I found no desire to bake or even put ornaments on the beautiful tree.   I did.......... want to find spirit...... I prayed , I read the biblical story of the birth of Jesus, I grabbed some Christmas Jewelry and Socks...... and lit some candles but still...............

Nell Died.  My friend and my daughter's dearest pet died.  Everyone who knew Nell, knows she was probably feeling guilty for dying during the holidays but held out through Rachel's exams.

Ben wont be here.

I had been sick on the cruise, lost my voice (hard for me ya know) but at least kept my "sight" which is what I need the most in my line of work.

I  had a bad day and screwed up a shoot, arriving late ....... and having to reschedule a new shoot.......not too fun during the holidays.

And Brandee......... her uncertainty with her new pregnancy , and her amazing Faith that no matter what ....... it will all be okay because that was God's will.

Yea, I went to the High School Musical and listened to Christmas Music........ it was fabulous.

Still the spirit eluded me.

I yearned for something different this year......... some mistletoe (the real stuff) I thought?  maybe that would help?   

The Christmas Parade...... quite awesome with great eye candy and some most awesome Photo opportunities , some laughs, my sister , our little county miracle child appearance ;and the collection of diapers for those in need, all made me smile but I still didn't have "IT"

My wonderful neighbors baked me a pumpkin cheesecake and some other wonderful neighbors brought over 2 bagels fresh from the oven.  All of these are wonderful thoughtful things.............. 

I got an IMAC , kindle fire, some fabulous and thoughtful gifts from my BFF KAREN and then some beautiful and touching cards in the mail and even an angel wing to go on my wrist.   I went shopping , singing Christmas Carold and I bought some presents (STILL NOT FINISHED WAY BEHIND).  Not a fraction of the normal "anjie" display mind you but some things that would make me smile normally. I have yet to wrap or mail anything at all.

I gifted a brand new men's bicycle to someone who could neither afford one or had anyone to give it to them.  I did a RAOK for consecutive days,  paying for peoples tolls, groceries, fast food and even a poinsettia in the store...... yep nice events ....... smile

TONIGHT I FOUND THE SPIRIT............  in my own world my own mind through my Christmas Tree.  I was able to take a minute and finish decorating the tree and have it take me to a different place and time in my life for little "nano seconds" ............ times that were good , that brought a smile to my face........ 

WHO BUYS A CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT WHEN THEY ARE MAD?  OR UPSET?  OR SAD?  NO ONE........... you always buy them , or at least I do when you are happy......... or someone makes you one , or gifts you one that brings you to a place and time.........that you can smile about........ DESPITE what ever is going on at the moment.   

I looked at several ornaments in particular ......... they are like books...... they have the ability to spark a spirit, an adventure in your mind, a place where only you can go....... and create and recreate the "spirit" of Christmas .........over and over again.  

I know that there are bad memories and bad things going on all over the world, in my neighborhood and even in my house and they are SAD , very very sad......... but after I hung the last candy cane on my tree the fire trucks screamed through my neighborhood and my heart started racing.......... YEP I gotta pick up my pace over here..........

CHRISTMAS IS COMING and I gotta get busy picking up that SPIRIT!  ......... its there.........

"Under the Bed, Right beside your Slipper"   ~  Michael Procter ~    all you got to do........ is go find it! :)

Now that I found it .........hmmmmmmm let me see what else  I can do with it........... :)


Anonymous said...

what a wonderful post, so full of HOPE, which is what so many of us need. just that little bit of something. just like what you did for me in a suttle way. making me feel "better" about me. I think of you often, often gaze at your work. I think your truly special!

Marie said...

I'm so glad your found the "spirit" Queen B....I couldn't imagine you not be cheery and happy for Christmas, or any time of the year for that matter.
Your such a loving, giving and wonderful deserve to have a heart and soul full of spirit.
I love you, dear friend.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Brandee Shafer said...

I regret not inviting you to Fine Creek to share our birthday cake for Jesus, today. Something about little faces singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus in the glow of helped.

Love you. Thank you for praying. I can feel it.

Anonymous said...

Your spirit did not leave, it just may have been clouded by "LIFE". Your heart and the good things you do are there and always will be.I loved your post and know that "angie" is there and your spirit will shine through when need be.
This day called "Christmas" has become so materialized and we lose the sight of the true meaning the day brings. So even if you do not feel in the spirit just remember God loves you and So do I.

Susan said...

I really enjoyed following along, in a strange kind of way, the progression of your feelings, moods, etc. The pictures are priceless of the kids and special ornaments. You are really rockin' the bookcase with all of the stockings! That was sooo cool! I'm glad in the end, you found your spirit....I'm still searching for mine. I am really trying.

You are a special, amazing, loving, fantastic, giving, beautiful, intelligent, awesome person. Don't EVER let ANYONE make you feel any different. Love you and am blessed to have you in my life! xoxoxo

happyagain said...

Anjie, my bff, the spirit is in your heart!! Let it shine!! Do it for yourself, not for others. You have so many friends, near and far, that love you soooo very much!! I am so blessed to have been able to experience the "trip of a lifetime" with you and better yet, got to meet your friends in your "other home place" and I fell in love with them!!! It was so special to have been mentioned in your post, it really warmed my heart to see I was able to put a smile on your face during this difficult time. I love you, my bff!!! Merry Christmas!! Let your spirit soar and shine!!!!

Laurie in TX said...

Angie, your post was so heartfelt and warm. I wanted to reach out and hug you, to tell you that there is spirit out there, every day of the year. It doesn't have to be Christmas to find that spirit. He is with you always and he will guide you to that ray of light that gives you hope and the spirit surrounds you, always! You made me get all choked up reading this post. Thank you as always, for all you do. There is so much love and caring put into all you do for us. Thank you, thank you, thank you! <3<3<3