Monday, March 28, 2011

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

 Someone or something you definitely could live without.
***some of these appear to be somewhat redundant but I am not a quitter"

When I was younger i thought I could never live without my friends, my bestie, my boyfriend and yikes maybe even my Dad...........  as i got older I thought i could never live without my children and / or my husband.   

I have even thought that I could not live without a place to live. 
I don't know what I thought would happen to me ...........maybe I would die in misery or loneliness or grief?

I have found that none of the above is true.  Isn't that sad?
I have lost them all........... (not at one time mind you) but at some time or another
in totality and some "forever."   

I am still here......living and breathing......... so you can lose all of the things I have listed and still stand here breathing and going through the daily routines.  

Loss.

Loss is difficult and I have learned there are "stages" associated with loss.  Loss doesn't necessarily mean death but sometimes it feels like death...... 

So I guess the truth is ............... I can't live without AIR, FOOD, WATER and maybe a few vital organs for a long period of time.  I CAN and have lived without each of these things in the "short term" with Air being the thing i can live the least amount of time without ............... and recently this occured........ panic mode set in almost immediately..........

Instead of grief , I felt panic and it was immediate.   With this realization I am so happy I quit smoking! :)


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