Tuesday, November 2, 2010

30 TRUTHS: "Something you have to forgive someone for"

PHOTO CREDIT:  http://biancasbookblog.blogspot.com/

WOW what in the heck did I get myself into?  LOL I guess I should have read thru all of the "truths" before I started them!   I came in on this where someone else had blogged about a topic (not forgiveness) further down the list and it intrigued me.............. hmmmmmm.............ok this may be a "sign" I'll take it as one and continue since I am not a "quitter."  as hard as it may be ............

Forgiveness as I said before isn't an "easy" topic for me, because I am not very good at it sometimes.  One of the most recent episodes for me ........includes my local best friend(s).   I have lived the last 20+ years of my life having "non-related" sisters playing the surrogate roles of sisters which I mistook for "best friends."   I was quite confident in my best friends as I had not only grown up with them, but also shared holidays, sad times, good times and most importantly trusted that these relationships would be "forever."  Even more sacred to me than my marriage(s), were my friendships.

Time has changed things and in the end.............. yea........... it was just like I was told .......... TRUE friends are not only hard to come by but also not what I had "signed up for" "swore by" and / or  "invested in."   My confidants, cohorts, buddies and ones that I would do anything for and their families have changed and morphed into something I don't even recognize. (including myself)   I had this idea that friendships (ALL OF THEM) were supposed to be "LIFETIME"  it has taken me a while but I have FINALLY learned this.............

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.  When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on. Then people come into your life for a SEASON, b ecause your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. CREDIT http://www.learningplaceonline.com/relationships/friends/reason-season.htm

I need to forgive these friends for "letting me down." Because........ In reality , they made no promises to me, no vows , no pacts .......really they only offered their friendship to me for a short time, and it is my own problem that I wanted these relationships to be "forever" withstanding the test of time, family intervention, successes and shortfalls.   It wasn't them it was really me.

When I have  grown older and our kids grow older I have learned that individuals may grow apart both physically and symbolically.   My letting go and opening up my life to these individuals was my choice........ my own assumptions that this meant a "forever bond" was and is wrong.  I have learned there are simply no guarantees in life.........and most of all you cannot expect people to always be your friend.
The hard feelings I have for others , the forgiveness ............yes I forgive you ......... I forgive you for not living up to my own unsolicited and unrealistic expectations.

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