Sunday, October 3, 2010

#2 What I LOVE about myself.........

All these places had their moments. 
With lovers and friends,
I still can recall. 
Some are dead and some are living. 
In my life I've loved them all. ~ Beatles

Its hard for me to use the strong "L" word in regard to myself.   I know people will tell you in order to love others you must love yourself first,  I question that the most.  It is "assumed" that you love yourself, because a person will do "anything" for self perseverance?   I think thats like a "knee jerk" reaction like swallowing , a reflex that is programmed within us to keep us alive, not something we do because we "love" ourselves.   I am proud of  some of my accomplishments, things I have done, seen and places I have been  but that doesn't make me "love" myself.

I guess  when I think about all of the people that I know and have known over the years........... I have loved them all............ to the best of my ability I love just about everyone I meet.  I love them and trust them before without making judgements about them.............I love them and love them until ..............I don't any more.

Maybe this is the very thing I love ability to love ,  love past the normal limits that society says you should.........until I can't any longer.   I was told in counseling once (before my divorce) that " in order to allow a healthy tree trunk to continue to grow you sometimes need to trim off some branches."

So I guess that which makes me "loveable" and "strong" is also what makes me "weak" and in the end unable to love and be loved by some.  

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