At first when I was thinking about what to write for the new year, I thought I would do the "same old thing" and post a lot of photos of the food, decorations, people and games that we enjoyed for the ONE DAY ... new year's eve celebration . I thought I would write about how I was careful to soak and start cooking the black eyed peas and only being able to take a bite because some stuck on the bottom for lack of liquid and a few black eyed peas spoiled the entire bunch. I thought I would tell everyone that we didn't win the New Years Million dollar lottery again this year, but it weren't for the lack of trying. ..... Or maybe how Kelly was late to work ...that day.... and it has taken 3 days to clean up the mess... will maybe 4 or 20 I don't know because I haven't reached "there" yet.... somehow that really isn't what I want to say.... I say it almost robotically and even tho it was a lot of fun..... and we missed my sister and my nephew and my stepson's presence.... but I also got to see my long lost niece and her better half .... gains and losses...
I scroll through facebook and there is a mixture of New Year reactions, traditions, resolutions and tribulations. There was a birth , a new boy born into our family a month early...... and a few unexpected deaths ....right around the "holidays." Some dreaded going back to work and others were already back and yet others looking for a job.
2016: It, like every year in the most recent past ..... had been a mixed bag of events .... and carried with it ... lots of change.
I have been told that I am good with change. I have been told that I am bad with change. I don't really know, i think it depends on the specific change and if I have had any "expectations" of said change IE ...time to prepare.
I have been having a lot of dreams lately. Vivid Dreams. Otters, Shoplifting, White bears, All American Dolls on 75% off sale ? WHAT?, My daughter , and my school friend that I still love very much, Emma. I researched them all....some have been fore-tellings of things and some were "just" messages sent to me through my dreams. I have always had a bit of a "gift" or "curse" however you want to look at it , in regards to things being told me to ..... with no "logical explanation"
My Lifelong curse goes something like this.... "As good as your life will be, even "charmed" I have been told I live....is as bad or worse that it will be as well" It feels like with EVERY waxing there is a waning. My spirit guide of course being "luna" a blue luna to be specific. I had her drawn for me once out of chalk , I was shocked that I had a female spirit guide as I always thought that it would be male. But...with that being said I had my photo taken once with an aura-odemetor and drew such a crowd ... embarrassingly so...because I had a bright white aura with blue undertones on film and not 1 but 3 spirit guides. The crowds grew around me and my former friend .... and they announced it on an intercom.... me..the one that hates to be the center of attention (even at my own baby shower, my sons funeral etc) .... the one that runs from that sort of thing...all of the sudden knew my fatal flaw, my curse, my family curse it seems as well.......
Everyone says I am "lucky" because I "win" so much .... I feel lucky to win too...but the truth is..the secret is...that my losses always meet my wins and surpasses them some of the time. For IRS purposes that has worked well but in life the penalties always seem so severe...there is a price for "winning" "luck" and / or "being ahead of life's game" ..
2016 depicted this perfectly. There were many very painful deaths this year. School Friends , other very close friends, a few relatives and then we all were whip lashed with the entertainment icons who's lives were taken way too soon. It never feels exactly real....especially when you have to walk through it. 2016 also brought with it some awesome births, new relationships, marriages, and trips that will be nothing but awesome memories for me to take to my golden years.
So the New Year is here.... it started with a bang! some fun games and burned black eyed peas...I hope that is not an omen of any kind, I still ate a spoonful ....and I am calling out that THAT COUNTS , my year I can only hope carries with it a lot of luck, positive & beautiful experiences that don't penalize me in the end for the enjoyment I experience.
I believe in Karma... and generational curses mentioned in many religions including Christianity, the biblical verses of you reap what you sow and ... bad things happen to good people (mostly as lessons). And then there is Kismet, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time - coincidence, irony .... and injustices. I spend a lot of my time "investing" in my own personal Karma... and trying to break the generational curses that I can identify. I spend a lot of time trying to stay out of the "wrong places" - and I witness and experience injustice.
My mission or RESOLUTION, my WORD, my LESSON for this year and every year until it fully resonates .. is to learn. "L-E-A-R-N" and "(L)EARN" - EVERYDAY.... please join me.
THIS IS A GREAT START...